How do you deal with Bridezillas?

July 8, 2014


Let me start by saying that we absolutely love our brides. People always say “Wow you’re a wedding planner, that must be really stressful. What do you do with those bridezillas???”
First I say: “Well my job before this was Real Estate and wedding planning is a walk in the park compared to that”. Then I explain that we’ve never had a bridezilla! I say that with all honesty. I have never had a nightmare bride. While there are varying degrees of niceness, literally every bride I have ever worked with has been a genuinely wonderful person.

I’ve come up with a few theories to explain this phenomenon.

1 – People who come to the NC Mountains to get married are generally more laid back, outdoorsy, fun loving people. I’m stereotyping here but it’s kind of true. I actually believe that if I lived in a big city or even at the beach I would not even want to be in this industry.

2. It’s possible that I am oblivious to other people’s negativity…I’m not going to say that I’ve never had a mother of the bride, or aunt or maid of honor or even the bride herself get a little snippy with me but…here’s what I tell myself and my staff. “It is a big day for these people, there is a lot of drama and emotions and great expectations at play…and possibly a little alcohol. It’s possible that they may not be their best self right now but it is our job to stay smiling, neutral and most importantly to not get defensive if a negative word or tone is tossed our way. They hired us to stay calm and make sure the day goes smoothly no matter what… not to add to the drama. If a lemon is tossed our way, we had better make the best dang lemonade they have ever tasted! I’m rambling a little but the point is that maybe what other people see as a “bridezilla” I just see as a stressed out girl.

3. Marketing – I think that brides who look at our website, blog and facebook see that we’re a happy smiley company who loves happy smiley brides. Something subconscious must steer the bridezillas in another direction. I think we send a pretty strong “no bridezillas allowed” message through all of our online channels.

4. Making sure it’s a good fit – It sounds silly and presumptuous of me but I can tell 95% of the time if a bride is a good fit from her first email or phone call. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten off of the phone with a prospective client and thought to myself “Man, she’s very nice but it just doesn’t seem like we really jive together. I really hope she finds someone more suited to her”. 9 times out of 10 in this scenario, the bride is feeling the same way and when/if she tells me she has chosen someone else as her planner,  I am genuinely relieved and happy for her.
Look, a wedding planner is a really really big decision. It is so important that you have a great connection. I’m very close friends with 2 other wedding planners here in the High Country. We work together, compare notes, send referrals back and fourth, share staff and even work on each others weddings sometimes. People think it’s amazing that three different business owners who are technically “competitors” can work so closely together with no animosity but it’s really quite simple. We strongly feel that brides do – and should – pick a wedding planner based on personality/compatibility. End of story. Picking your wedding planner should be a gut decision not a haggle fest to see who you can get the most out of for less. We all 3 offer the same quality of service and finished product we just all go about it in a slightly different way. Now I’m sure that there are some truly awful people out there set out to make their wedding vendor’s lives miserable, but more often than not, it could just be a bad fit.
So there’s my thesis on the Bridezilla stereotype. If you think you may be one, please do not call us. We hope your big day goes great but life is short and we only allow happy, smiley fun loving brides here at The Whole Shebang!


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