In part 2 of The Whole Shebang’s step-by-step guide to engagement, we will focus on creating your guest list.
With over a decade of experience in the wedding industry, we are excited to share our expert insights on this sometimes challenging topic.
[P.S. Not ready to think about your guest list yet? Still unsure of your wedding vision? Grab our freebie download that walks you through defining your wedding vision here, and then read part 1 of our step-by-step guide to being engaged here.]
Photo by Megan Sheppard Photography
While this may seem like a simple question at first glance, this decision can impact many facets of your wedding day. From venue capacity to budget to overall vibe, this choice will be the quintessential question that changes the game for your wedding planning.
Meris, owner and lead planner of The Whole Shebang Events, likes to say that once the train leaves the station, it’s challenging and sometimes impossible to turn it around. So before you jump aboard the wedding planning train, it is essential to figure out just how many people you plan to invite to your wedding celebration.
Let me give a brief disclaimer: we are all for guest lists of any size, big or small. We love any celebration of love of any size. This guide will help relieve potential stress and ensure your vision for your day aligns with reality, which is why we are starting here.
Photo by Megan Sheppard Photography
Also, keep in mind that there is a rumor going around that 25% of guests will respond no, so you can invite more than you’d actually like to attend, but that is not always the case.
In our experience, especially post-pandemic, RSVP rates have been extremely high for weddings in the High Country. We’re talking 90-95% responding “yes”. This high RSVP rate is also being noted in other locations. Check out this article from Brides on the topic.
But you know your crowd best! If you want to invite your great-grandparents’ friends but are 95% sure they won’t attend…sure – add them to your guest list! But don’t be surprised if they happen to say yes. People LOVE to travel to the mountains [and we don’t blame them; we love it here, too!] and will often move mountains to make it to your wedding.
Photo by Megan Sheppard Photography
Let’s dive in and discuss how your guest list impacts your day and some insights to consider.
Budget
Your budget is the first thing to consider as you begin planning your wedding! Trust us, we know this is not the most fun part of wedding planning, but it is necessary! [See this post for more tips on the first things to do when newly engaged.]
With your budget, remember that every guest you invite increases your overall costs. On average, we see the majority of our couples spending around $1000 per guest for their wedding day. Some spend less, some spend more, but this is what we have seen in 2023 and 2024.
For example, each person adds to your overall catering fee. Your catering company might charge $150 per person for your wedding day menu. Having 50 guests brings your rate [not including staffing and service charges] to $ 7,500. However, if we increase that to 150 guests, you are looking at $22,500 in catering. It’s clear in this example how quickly the overall costs begin to rise.
And it is not only catering costs that change when you increase your guest count. You also add tables and chairs at the reception, linens for those tables, floral arrangements for the tables, chairs for the ceremony, tableware for your meal, invitations, favors, and more.
Again, there is nothing wrong with a high guest count; you just want to make sure that your budget expectations and guest count align. Our recommendation is always to allot 10-15% of your budget as an added buffer. Similar to when you are on vacation, even when you budget and crunch numbers down to the penny there are smaller things that will pop up.
Overall Vibe:
Your guest count can also impact your overall wedding vibe.
A 300-person wedding vs. a 25-person wedding has a very different feel. Both are fantastic, but you want to determine what feel you want for your wedding day.
Photo by Megan Sheppard Photography
Venue:
Venue considerations should also be made when deciding your guest count. If you have a dream wedding venue in mind, check on their capacity and ask how many they could host for a seated reception vs. a cocktail reception.
Pro tip: Ask for sample layouts! A venue may be able to host a seated reception for 200 guests, but those tables may be super close together and all one size. And don’t forget to leave room for food stations, bars, entertainment, and a dance floor. If you dream of a mixture of shapes or only long tables, you want to know that before you book your venue.
Also, consider your weather contingency plan. If you need to use the same space for different parts of your day because of bad weather, consider where your guests will go during the cocktail hour transition period. You want to make sure there’s enough space to accommodate everyone comfortably.
Family:
Family can make this a tricky question! Often, our couples ask if there is a standard for how many each family member gets to invite, and we say that it varies because it does.
We have seen families establish that each set of parents can invite 25 friends, and we’ve had families who only invite 10 or who invite 100! It ultimately comes down to what you and your family decide and what aligns with your vision and overall budget.
We suggest you discuss this topic early to confirm everyone is on the same page and expectations are in order.
When you hear “I can’t wait for your wedding” before you have even sent invitations:
We know how tempting it can be to say, “Oh, of course, you are definitely invited to the wedding,” when someone asks, but if you need a phrase to share with your coworker whom you’ve only known for two months – take this one:
“We are still nailing down our vision for our wedding day and haven’t decided on the details yet.”
Photo by Megan Sheppard Photography
Whew! Wedding planning can feel like a lot. Especially in that newly engaged bubble, it can be easy to dream big but feel impossible to make it happen. Remember, you can dream big and meet your budget and planning goals, and we are here to help.
If you want to discuss your wedding planning and see how our services can support you, contact us here!
We can help with everything from budget to guest list to timeline to executing your wedding weekend from start to finish. Our packages range from a 1:1 VIP planning day for the DIY couple to a three-month out wedding management approach to full-service planning for your entire wedding weekend.
We would love to be a part of your team that helps bring your dream wedding vision to life.
